Looking Up For Hope

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Going through my video footage looking for a particular clip, I came across 22 seconds of me not saying anything — but expressing in those few moments everything I feel every day: my usual good natured cheerfulness, worry, peaceful pondering waiting for solutions to come to me, conscious decision to be positive, restored optimism, loss of hope, numbness …

I found myself making it into a sofa movie and it seemed to make itself. I had no idea I would compose such a serious piece, but it was very therapeutic. It was good to spend the time with those feelings.

My brother Bart was my Irish twin and the love of my life. He was a remarkable man and we spent every minute together that we could considering he was all over the world as an F 15 Fighter Pilot in the Air Force. He went down in the Gulf of Mexico in 1989. I still can’t imagine living in a world without him. But here I still am … trying to save it … all by myself.

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